2009 has come to an end...

Time to clean up! and let go! 2009 is over...from season to season I will briefly review the last year of my life...




Winter 2009 ...seems so far away now..tho the year also seemed to fly by...by the time January/February 2009 came around my daughter had mastered the art of walking...she fell in love with the concept of stairs..she began to show love and my 13yr old cat(at the time) helped my daughter show love, she adored him so much! everything was a huge discovery. In January the sun comes around for me again and it is my birthday..I turned 36yrs old in 2009..I always enjoyed having my birthday fall a week after New Years...It's like we have all these holidays and parties in December and then it all ends and everyone faces the cold days ahead till the flowers start blooming..but wait it's my birthday so let's keep the celebration alive in January...Winter no matter what year it is in Japan its time for visits to the onsens(hot springs) for some serious relaxation...after my birthday and some onsening the reality of saving money set in for our big honeymoon to the Maldives...at the end of March we flew off to the Maldives for 8 days...




And paradise it was...seriously the most amazing and the most expensive (lol) place I have every been to in my life...we will go back again one day...we both fell in love again...

Spring 2009



The days are getting warmer and lighter and lighter for longer and longer...spring has arrived and my baby girl is growing and talking more and more each day...
After returning from the Maldives alot of new things opened up for me...I helped open a new school for the company I was working for..it was a challenge I was not expecting...I went to an amazing womens workshop with Shivani in the springtime, it was an amazing experience and it helped me believe that Japan does have the spiritual life I am so deeply in love with..that is just being..being a woman..being in love with the self..spreading the love to all and living life the way I dream of living my life..thank you Shivani...http://www.livingshizen.com/
Soon I started a new project called mint...yet another unexpected challenge yet a beautiful learning experience ...

Summer 2009





Ahhh the summer of fresh veggies...blowing bubbles in the yard with my Nina..working hard on mint and at my english teaching job...constantly in the yard with dirt..veggies...herbs..veggie bbq parties..a glass of chilled pino...and raw fruit pies! so much fun and so much YUM! love love love...

Fall 2009



Mandala work...I started an online mandala class with Rajita Sivananda(Judith Cornell)http://www.mandala-universe.com/welcome.html
amazing class..has helped me make alot of decisions for the new year...


The colors are so vibrant! fall is my most favorite time of the year!

I went to America in the fall..to see my grandmother..my father and aunt and uncle..I even had some time to see some of my amazing friends..what a total blessing!

I was also lucky enough to get to see an Andy Warhol exhibit in Milwaukee! loved it!


Fall was so busy and so awesome in so many ways...It seemed that the fall brought alot of truth my way...I learned so much! I also met another amazing woman in Japan...Deanne! from Hooplovers..http://www.hooplovers.com/
This is when I fell in love with hula hooping!
A week later I went to the midwest in America to see family and friends...I love getting out of Japan! lol! I really have a love/strongly dislike relationship with Japan and in order to keep my head straight I must leave Japan a few times a year... This time when I left for about a week and alot really opened up for me..I was seeing everything from a distance and it all looked very very different...
When I came back to Japan I let go of what seems like many things..mint for one..a beautiful project yet was not the right one for me in this lifetime..a wonderful learning experience..thank you to all involved with the project..I had to let go of friendships..and a job that was just not working for me...it was simply time to move on...so thankful for all of it because it really taught me alot about who I am and what I am capable of doing..

And back to Winter 2009..a full circle..


My amazing daughter turned 2yrs old!

The last day of 2009 it finally snowed..little tiny snowballs

And here we are with our 2nd full moon in December known as the blue moon

2009 and all that came into my life and left my life...what a true lesson..a true blissful blessing!
I am so very excited to start all my new projects and accomplish my dreams in 2010!
New books to start reading..New job to start teaching and so much more..thank you so much for each and everyone of you..you all inspire me in someway..much love respect..peace ..unity

Once in a Blue MOON

As the saying goes only once in a blue moon...
It is not too often that 2 full moons happen within
1 month..but this December 2009 we are having 2 full moons and the 2nd moon
the "blue moon" happens to fall exactly on New Years Eve...which is not such a common happening..
Not exactly sure what I will do this New Years...so undecided...
I am just going to go with the flow...
Whatever I do I will be bringing 2010 in with a new state of mind...
And many goals...
I am currently addicted to hula hooping so one of my biggest goals is to become
very very good at mastering my hoop!
so much more to come..so I ask you to come back to my blog ..visit me..
love me.. inspire me and leave comments.. dont be shy
heart heart love love

Dance Meditation Tokyo Japan December 2009

Beautiful Alter above...this so reminds me of my days setting up at events..
also above a view of part of the city from the yoga studio

Dance Meditation...14:50 Reception Open
15:00～15:30　Opening Ceremony & smudging by Sudha Sun Unimondy
15:30～16:30　Session A by DJ Hideyo Blackmoon (New Age Down Tempo)
16:30～17:00　Rest/Sharing
17:00～18:00　Session B by DJ marbo Tokyo Balearic (Balearic)
18:00～18:30　Rest/Sharing
18:30～19:30　Session C by DJ Hideyo Blackmoon (Techno, Minimal)
19:30～20:45　Rest/Sharing, Closing ceremony by Bonze Hirosuke
21:00 Close

Venue~ http://www.nirmalyoga.com/
Promoters~ http://naturalhighproduction.com/

This event was truly pure bliss..
The day was broken into 3 different sessions so people had the choice of going or staying..I chose to stay for all 3 sessions which was a blissful choice!
By the time session C came around the energy in the room was so amazing and thick...I truly have a hard time putting this day into words..I could barely talk when it ended..I wanted to say so much to so many but I was too blissed out to say a word ...which is fine by me cuz the look on my face probably said it all..

I will say that the djs and all the people involved with making this event happen are beautiful souls. I was lost in translation at times but dance and meditation need no words so I felt I understood all that was happening around me energetically.

I will for sure continue going to these events when they happen..
Going to dance in a yoga space where there is no smoking..no chatting..no drinking and no drug use is the best! pure L-O-V-E!!!
much love
h.star

Transition 2009 into 2010

It is truly hard to believe that it is almost 2010..I remember the whole Y2K in 2000..standing in front of some speakers in Minneapolis after spending the entire day setting up art at the event...standing there wondering is the world going to go crazy or change drastically tonight?? the answer was no...or maybe alot has changed but there was no Y2K...

Now... 2009... life is much different then the state of mind I was in that night when the clock struck midnight going from 1999 into 2000...I have to say those times were mega fun! I am thankful for where my life is now in Japan...

It is only December but I can already feel the changes coming into my life as we move into 2010...

2010 brings many new changes to my I Change U Change blog so...bookmark me

I look back into when I started this blog about change in September 2008...so much has changed since 2008!

I will include recipes in my blog ...mostly raw foods...something I am taking a very strong interest in lately..I would have to say my diet is current about 40% raw..which is not enough! I hope to be at about 70% raw in the year 2010. Posting raw recipes will inspire me to eat more of a raw diet..
As for the other changes on my blog...well....you will see

Have a beautiful transition into the new year my friends
PLUR
h.star

Lavender Cookies

This week I used the rest of my dried lavender from my garden to make some yummy tea cookies.
These cookies are for drinking with tea..they can be a little dry if you don't dunk them..so be sure to invite all your lady friends over for a tea party with lavender cookies:-)

Recipe

1 stick of butter
1 cup of sugar (I used only 3/4 cup, I don't like alot of sugar)
2 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp dried lavender flowers,finely chopped
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder

Preheat oven to 375F
In a bowl, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
Beat in the eggs,vanilla,and lavender,and mix well.
Combine the flour and baking powder and add to the lavender mixture, stirring until well blended.
Drop by tspfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 8-10 minutes, or until edges are lightly browned.
Cool on baking sheet for a minute or 2, then transfer to a rack to finish cooling.

Invite your friends...makes some tea..dip and eat...yummy!
enjoy!

Glitter

I desire to learn
I am weak
I am strong
I am on my path
I hide from no one
I take on responsibility
I want to grow
I know I will

Breathing again

Namaste my friends...


As I check into my blog months later since my last post, I realize that every season brings on new realizations...
Recently, I went back to the United States to see my grandmother that had fallen ill, she is 90 years old now. My journey to see her was truly amazing. I stayed at my aunt and uncles house for 3 days and my father flew in from the South to see grandma as well. It felt so good to be around my family in America! I had a good amount of quality time with my grandmother, we chatted about life past to present. I had a chance to share my photos with her and she shared her photos with me from her past. It was so much fun and such a priceless memory, I feel so blessed to have been able to fly in and spend this time with her. I am and always have been very very close to my grandmother.
After, my time with family I spent a few days in Milwaukee Wisconsin with a few of my closest friends. This showed me that no matter how long or how far I am from these people that we can connect as if we live right next door to each other. This my friends is true friendship...true sisterhood.
During my time in America I had my own ups and downs about being in America and living in Japan..I had found myself comparing the two..tho there really is no reason to do such a thing because they are totally two different types of cultures..silly me. While in America I missed family and certain people in Japan, I was excited to get back to see everyone and share what I had learned on this amazing journey overseas.
As the weeks passed being back in Japan felt a bit empty, like I was given the chance to see everything from a distance when I was in America and then coming back to it all was not exactly how I saw it...slightly difficult to put into words at this very moment...but I knew something or perhaps alot of things had to change in my life.
I believe that we all cause our own suffering in this life. This could be from the choices we make...perhaps the way we live..the people we chose to be friends with..the way we act or react to situations.
So, with the realization that I had to be the one to change the situations that were causing me to feel not so good, putting me in a negative space...it was time to make some big transitions...
Though I am not happy that my grandmother got ill, something inside of me is telling me that she was protecting me...
My grandmother was a protector in my life, she has unconditional love for me..
I am so thankful that I went to America and came back to make some very truthful important decisions with my life.
I am very excited to get started on my dreams. With 2010 coming up fast I have already put into motion what I will be doing.
In 2010 I will begin my Mandala Facilitator Teacher Training program with Judith Cornell (google her).
My husband and I will be going to a far land to vacation. The rest...going with the flow...
As always thank you for stopping by and reading my blog.
May all of your dreams come true...
blessings

healing artist

it has been a summer of inner work for me
making new discoveries about myself...what
and who do i want in my life kind of
discoveries...as the feeling of fall
is falling upon us every other day or so
artistic creativity
life is in the air...
with that being said as fall approaches us my schdule is changing with the season.
I have decided to work less at being an english teacher ...my focus
is my beautiful daughter and art...creating. Doing what I believe in... what
my heart is fully into doing everyday...i have been doing yoga every morning and
seeing an amazing massage aromatherapist since returning from the Maldive islands in March of this year. The improvements
to how i am feeling are happening slowly but are happening...Since moving to Japan and experiencing pregnancy/giving birth almost 2yrs ago my mind, body and spirit had been pretty much turned upside down...feeling depressed and homesickness that doesn't compare to any sickness i have ever experienced.
Now that Fall is approaching i am living a life of healing thru art...yoga...music...dance and most of all self love...knowing that where life has taken me to get me to where i am today is a true blessing ...love is everything...

enjoy the bright colors of the flowers ...soon the bright colors of leaves will be lighting up the world above us...enjoy these last few weeks of summer...soon all is changing again...
lots of love and thanks

Michael Jackson

He inspired generation after generation...
He inspired every type of person...
He made the world dance...or at least tap their foot...
There are not many people in this world that can do that
for such a large population of people...
His personal life is not our business...
When it comes to celebrities... people in this world get so invasive...
Remember the good..remember all the positives he did for you...
the rest is the media not Michaels energy of dance and song...
rest in piece ...u r an inspiration...

The Art of Being a Woman

Life tends to hand us so much at times...our society forces us to be robotic in our daily lives....wake up..go to work..take care of the children...cook dinner...etc...correct? for most of us at least...
In the mess of societies ways a women tends to lose her true essence at times...Since moving to Japan not only have I lost myself in translation, I have lost my femininity...I lost love for me...I had a baby and lost my fly figure...I started working part-time as an english teacher..(which is so NOT what I want to be doing)...I lost the reason I fell in love with my husband...and I constantly ignore the mirrors around my house...I lost love..and if you don't love yourself how do you expect to love other's or have other's love and respect you? impossible!
So, I decided to take a women's workshop in Oyama today...it was taught by a wonderful woman named Sarah-Shivani you can go to her website and find so much to be inspired about...and join her workshops because they are blissful...the website is
www.livingshizen.com
Before I strolled into the Lotus Yoga Studio (which is also totally beautiful and inspiring) I felt like a stranger to myself..I was so depressed about who I am ...the things that I do in Japan are so not me (well not all things) but I am more than a wife and a mother I am an artist I am a dancer I am who I am...
After Sarah's class I felt so strong...I stared into my eyes for what seemed to be an eternity for me today...I never take that much time to look inside my eyes to see the beauty that reflects back at me...I noticed how beautiful my eyes are...how important I am in this society...Perhaps I even found my calling so to speak in Japan, since I want to do so much here but can never pinpoint what I really want to do...but today was different.
I have to take the time to love this body..this mind..this spirit that the great spirit has blessed me with...I have much to do on this planet...no time to waste..but always time to stop and look in the mirror to touch myself with love...to feel my womanly arts...to see my goddessness..To realize that not only am I a painter...a installation artist...one who draws other people or objects ..that I am the art...I am a woman and being a woman is all about art...we are complex like a color wheel..we can not be judged...why would anyone judge art? art is an expression and women are an expression of love..we are like the sea we are calm ...we are strong..we create waves..we flow with the moon cycles...why would anyone want to mess with us? why would anyone want to suppress our womenly arts? such nonsense! we must be strong like the ocean..like the earth...we must find our grounding center and take the time to be with ourselves to love ourselves...this is the greatest art form alive...

Maldives

I have been away for awhile with the blogging...
AAAHHHH the Maldives..There is so much to tell you,but
the truth is ..is that you should just try to go and
experience it for yourself..it is total paradise..I have
never in my life seen so much clear blue ocean...white sand..
heat that won't quit..every part of our journey was amazing...

I am working on a new blog coming soon....it will be
pure art....stay in touch and see...
I have a big art showing coming up in October so I am
busy creating these days...

love love

Shedding Darkness

It is that time of year when the light in the sky shines a little bit longer each and everyday...
Shedding the darkness...darkness...
Looking back into the darkest moments of time
Understanding the now...the reason you have stepped
into this life with me...fully understood...probably
never...I do not know...
How can one know another if they do not even know themselves...
At times only music and art can express the moments...
Flowing like a river with many river rocks at this moment
Soon the river will flow faster and more fiercely the rocks
will turn to pebbles...the sky will stay brighter for longer..
the break will come and the shedding will be complete...
the darkness will become warm and brighter...each day...
step by step

Drawing till she Moves

I started a new series of drawings...
I will draw my daughter while she is sleeping ...
When she moves I will finish..
This is the first one

What I see changing...

In my life...36yrs...I have seen alot of things change

I don't remember seeing a Starbucks on every corner.. I
only remember the
McDonalds and Burger Kings...they seemed to dominate the
factory food...

I don't remember recycling...until I was in high school...
I do not remember seeing strip malls on every corner until
college...

I DO REMEMBER SWIMMING IN FAIRLY CLEAN LAKES IN WISCONSIN
WHEN I WAS SMALL..

(TAKE NOTE) THE ONLY REASON I AM WRITING IN CAPS RIGHT NOW
IS BECAUSE I ACCIDENTLY PRESSED SOME BUTTON ON MY JAPANESE
COMPUTER AND CAN NOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET IT BACK TO
NORMAL..

OK...

I DO REMEMBER OPEN FIELDS LOTS OF THEM IN THE NORTHWEST AREA
OF CHICAGOLAND...

I REMEMBER DRINKING TAP WATER EVERYDAY WHEN I WAS A CHILD

I REMEMBER WHEN FOOD WAS NOT LABELED "ORGANIC"
I ALSO REMEMBER LOCAL FARMERS IN THE NORTHWEST AREA OF
CHICAGOLAND...

I REMEMBER WHEN EVERY RESTAURANT HAD A SMOKING SECTION

I REMEMBER WHEN SHOOTINGS WERE NOT A COMMON THING...

I REMEMBER WHEN "GLOBAL WARMING" WAS NEVER TALKED ABOUT..

I REMEMBER WHEN MY COMPUTER SCREEN WAS JUST BLACK AND GREEN...

THERE IS ALOT MORE TO MENTION..BUT NOT AT THE MOMENT

I change U change

If I don't change...how will anything else change?

I have a question for my readers...

What is your definition of Change?

Re-la-tion-ship

n.1. a connection, association, or involvement. 2. connection between persons by blood or marriage; kinship. 3. an emotional or other connection between people. 4. a romantic or sexual involvement.

Really what is a relationship? the definition above is just words...how can one really truly understand a relationship without having one?...perhaps there are many words in the dictionary that give me this feeling...

Words...

Relationship...

No matter what kind of relationship you are in..there are always many emotions..for me its like being in a boat in the sea...at times it's smooth sailing..other times make me seasick...

In the beginning it really feels magical...like no matter what...nothing will ruin a day for you...then time passes....can you keep that feeling?
my answer is ...no

What happens?

Forgive me ...I am still working on some sort of answer to this question...

One day I may have an answer blog...

All are welcome to comment on my blogs

Year at a Glace...Stars above..Love below..

Simply...I am not done blogging tonight...

A few decisions I have made for the new year ahead..

I will spend time with people that really value me...
I will spend time with women and men where conversations
generate brilliance...
I will walk away from the negative humans...
I will embrace the beauty of the positive..inspiring humans...
I will work on my patience..my love in my relationship with the
man I have chosen to live with in this new environment...
I have opened my eyes and my mind to new and great opportunities that surround me...
I am a teacher and a student everyday of my life...
I will shed the old skin and grow the new skin...
I will become the strength I have gained...I can handle anything ...
I will live my truth...
I will see beauty in things that may not be beauty to others...
I will photograph the light that catches my eyes and keep it inside until
it is meant to blossom...
I will love
I will live love and power..
I will use my power with love...
I will live in confidence...
I will dance more...
I will make the changes that are needed to become who I truly am...

Don't bother if you intend on bringing drama or negativity into my world..
Im not interested...